HOW TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF TRUE CHARACTER OF A POTENTIAL SPOUSE PART THREE

3. Personal Discipline The third window to character is how a person disciplines and conducts his or her personal life. "Habit," writes Charlotte Mason, "is the greater part of nature." The things we do involuntarily, almost without thinking, reveal our character. When we consider this category, we need to note the difference between sinful habits and simply annoying habits or poor manners. Everyone has habits that another person will find silly or irritating. My dad drives my mother crazy with the way he eats corn on the cob. His method is reminiscent of an old typewriter: Munch, munch, munch, munch, kaching! Munch, munch, munch down the next row. This may not be the best table manners, but it isn't a sinful habit. Instead of concerning ourselves with issues such as these, we need to examine whether a potential spouse (or we ourselves) fosters habits that are disobedient to God or revealing of a deeper disregard for others. The following are a few areas in which a person's habits give us a glimpse into his or her character. Watch these closely in your own life, too. a)How a person uses time. I heard Elisabeth Elliot give a speech in which she said that one of the things that first attracted her to Jim Elliot was the fact that he memorized Scripture as he waited in the cafeteria line. That observation told her that Jim was disciplined and efficient. The way a person spends his or her leisure time tells us what he or she values. Does this person fill free time with mindless hours in front of the TV? Does this person cultivate his or her mind and build relationships, or does he or she run to the next distraction? Seek to find someone (and to be the kind of person) who uses time wisely. b)How he or she handles money. The way a person handles money is one, if not the surest, indicator of character. At his nineteenth birthday party, my friend Andy asked people to bring money. But he didn't want the money for himself. Instead, he gave all of it to a Christian outreach effort in the inner city. Andy’s attitude toward material things proved him a man of compassion, love, and generosity. It showed that he valued the eternal more than the material. Is the person you're observing (or are you) caught up in clothing, cars, and other material things? Does this person think through purchases, or does he or she spend impulsively, prone to splurging? A person's spending habits reveal his or her level of responsibility. c)How he or she takes care of his or her body. We should not fault a person because of things he or she cannot control-- height, features, and in some cases weight. Neither should we be overly concerned with the external. However, the way a person cares for his or her body tells us something about that persons character. First, how does this person dress? A girl who dresses immodestly may catch guys' attention, but what does her clothing say about her heart? A guy who spends his money on the latest style may have the appearance of "togetherness," but his infatuation with fashion could mean he's too preoccupied with what people think of him (and that he may make poor decisions with his money). Next, how does this person care for his or her body? Does he or she have self-disciplined eating habits? Does he or she have a reasonable and consistent program of staying fit? God wants us to maintain the health and condition of our bodies so that we can more effectively serve Him. This does not mean, however, that we should become obsessed with exercise. A person who is too concerned about weight lifting is just as out of balance as the person who doesn't exercise at all. How would you stand up to evaluation in this category? Is there room for improvement in your life?