2. How a Person Relates to Others
The second window to a person's character is his or her relationships with others. Watch how a potential partner (and you) relate to the following people: a)Authorities. How does a potential mate respond to people in authority? Does this person respect the authority of a boss or pastor even if he or she disagrees with that authority figure? A guy who can't follow legitimate orders will have difficulty holding a job or receiving pastoral correction when needed. A girl who can't respect a teacher's or coach's authority will have difficulty honoring her husband. Look for, and strive to become, a person who respects God-given authority. b)Parents. You've probably heard this sage advice before: "The way a guy treats his mom is the way he'll treat his wife." It's true. The same goes for the way a girl relates to her dad. I'm not saying that a person who has had a bad relationship with his or her dad or mom can't have a good marriage. By God's grace we can overcome old patterns. But we do need to ask, "If he can't be loving and gentle with his mom, why should I believe he'll be loving and gentle with me as his wife?" or "If she can't respect her dad, will she be able to respect me as her husband?" Don't forget to evaluate your own life. How do you relate to your parents? Can you improve the way you interact with them so you'll know how to honor your future spouse? If you'd really like the answer to these questions, ask your parents to tell you their perspectives on your relationship with them. c)The opposite sex. There's a huge difference between genuine friendliness and flirtatiousness. Learn to distinguish between the two. No one wants to marry a flirt. Guys, if a girl flits like a butterfly from one guy to the next, always in need of male attention, do you really think marriage will suddenly change her? Girls, do you want to marry a man with a wandering eye? And what about yourself? Where do you stand on the friendly flirtatious scale? Do you need to change your attitudes and actions toward members of the opposite sex? d)Companions. A person's companions are the people who influence and shape him or her. In this category, the way someone treats his or her friends is not as important as who these friends are. A. Will Tozer observed, "There is a law of moral attraction that draws every man to the society most like himself. Where we go when we are free to go where we will is a near infallible index of character." Who are a potential marriage partner's closest friends? How do these friends act? What do they value? If they're caught up in partying and living recklessly, the person who spends time with them will probably share those pursuits. What about your companions? Are you pursuing relationships with people who encourage you in your walk with the Lord? Or do your friends drag you down? Don't underestimate how much your close friends shape your character.
The second window to a person's character is his or her relationships with others. Watch how a potential partner (and you) relate to the following people: a)Authorities. How does a potential mate respond to people in authority? Does this person respect the authority of a boss or pastor even if he or she disagrees with that authority figure? A guy who can't follow legitimate orders will have difficulty holding a job or receiving pastoral correction when needed. A girl who can't respect a teacher's or coach's authority will have difficulty honoring her husband. Look for, and strive to become, a person who respects God-given authority. b)Parents. You've probably heard this sage advice before: "The way a guy treats his mom is the way he'll treat his wife." It's true. The same goes for the way a girl relates to her dad. I'm not saying that a person who has had a bad relationship with his or her dad or mom can't have a good marriage. By God's grace we can overcome old patterns. But we do need to ask, "If he can't be loving and gentle with his mom, why should I believe he'll be loving and gentle with me as his wife?" or "If she can't respect her dad, will she be able to respect me as her husband?" Don't forget to evaluate your own life. How do you relate to your parents? Can you improve the way you interact with them so you'll know how to honor your future spouse? If you'd really like the answer to these questions, ask your parents to tell you their perspectives on your relationship with them. c)The opposite sex. There's a huge difference between genuine friendliness and flirtatiousness. Learn to distinguish between the two. No one wants to marry a flirt. Guys, if a girl flits like a butterfly from one guy to the next, always in need of male attention, do you really think marriage will suddenly change her? Girls, do you want to marry a man with a wandering eye? And what about yourself? Where do you stand on the friendly flirtatious scale? Do you need to change your attitudes and actions toward members of the opposite sex? d)Companions. A person's companions are the people who influence and shape him or her. In this category, the way someone treats his or her friends is not as important as who these friends are. A. Will Tozer observed, "There is a law of moral attraction that draws every man to the society most like himself. Where we go when we are free to go where we will is a near infallible index of character." Who are a potential marriage partner's closest friends? How do these friends act? What do they value? If they're caught up in partying and living recklessly, the person who spends time with them will probably share those pursuits. What about your companions? Are you pursuing relationships with people who encourage you in your walk with the Lord? Or do your friends drag you down? Don't underestimate how much your close friends shape your character.
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